Its been a while

Its been a while since I last wrote, and like always so much happened in between. But I'm closer home literally, metaphorically - I moved back to Guwahati, Assam in hopes of doing what I always thought I should. It is not particularly easy - not with everyone doubting, not believing in the intensity of the ideas that nurture in me. But then, I figured out its important - its important to me more than anything else, its important I gave that part of me an opportunity to surface.

Oh the bank of the Red River!!

An emotional fool ... I may be that. But I also am glad I can feel those very humane emotions every time I hear the Bihu songs, every time I hear Bhupen Hazarika, Jayanta Hazarika...sometimes I wake up in the morning and try to imagine the sounds that I heard when I was growing up in the village...the sounds of the villagers walking past our house in the village of Pakorkona in Hajo in the crack of the dawn, on their way to the bus stop to catch the 5 AM bus to Guwahati where they would sell brinjals...amongst many other sound. But I remember this sound particularly as this is the first sound I would hear in the day. I would be still on the bed. Those days all the kids would usually sleep with Abu or Bordeuta. I must have been around 3 years old ...that's the image I've in my mind. The villagers would walk all the way from Roumari, a nearby village, as there was only one road where buses could stop for miles and miles. I often used to wonder how could they be all ready with their brinjals nicely stacked on those balance-type of carriers made of bamboo while I was still sleeping. There is absolutely no light outside, but you can see the silhouettes pf the people - all cheerful and optimistic about the business that day...all but two baskets of brinjals balanced across their shoulders!

By the way - no one any longer sells brinjal from Pakorkona or Roumari - they have or spend their time looking for a "government" job - one that would pay for no work whatsoever. No longer any kid goes to pick potatoes on the fields like we used to.They go to schools and institutes which do not give them skills but qualifies them for some jobs which again would require no skills. Why is when I want to go back to Pakorkona after having seen the land across 7 oceans and 13 seas (as is the proverb), they want to go away? Why progress is moving away from roots?

For the matter of fact, no one any longer walks to any other house in the same village, forget about walking from Roumari.No one any longer needs the bus, they all have bikes and cars! My sister and I often talk about how to make more and more people aware of the defining environmental issues of the 21st century - of global warming & carbon footprints. We will be called mad women if we even tried. But then we will make our attempts!

Why did I write again ...just to understand why do I feel so strongly about the love of my land, about Bihu, about the banks of the mighty Brahmaputra..

Oscars,passion, goals of life....and morning cup of tea

I got up – determined that today will change things. Today will be that moment in my life when I will live for the purpose, and find the purpose. I woke up quite early for that purpose – I dragged myself out of the bed at 5:30 AM in the morning – a habit that I had lost in the recent times.
Its always soothing – the quietness of the morning, the soft light, the fact that I’m one of those who are ahead of the mass today – the fact that I’m ahead and an early starter, terrific feelings. I was almost about to write a post on the importance of a cup of tea early morning – but then other things came – certain realizations and certain facts. Yeah – but an early morning cup of tea has its wonder effects – true to the campaign of one tea brand – it just wakes you up to your surroundings. I guess the Oscar awards playing live on Star Movies had a catalyst to play – somehow all these incredible people and the magnitude of their achievements, people who embody passion in what they do made me realize one thing – you can’t do anything without passion. There is no point living life without passion, without embodying passion.
These are the facts for the day –
• I realized there is no point staying separate from your family – no matter what is the price. No amount of money can ever take being with my sister – the fact that I could wake her up in the morning, pep her up for the day – these are wonders by themselves
• Second realization – hard work is a must for any success. To achieve any amount of success worth the mass – so much more goes into it
• More than working hard to be a success in the mass, if what you’re doing is your passion – its the addiction of perfecting it – of pushing the bar
• My father got transferred to Sonitpur when he was thinking of getting transferred to Guwahati – to home. I understand his pain – but he will not tell me.
• I understand now , more than ever, of controlling your life and not letting a job, others control it
• Did someone not say the other day – “If you don’t write your the story of your life, someone will write it”
• Ofcourse I ask myself – will I be able to pull it? But I also know now is not the time to doubt – now is the time to believe in myself, and go for it
• I ask for strength – God give me some
• And yes – like the show I’m watching now – I want to excel at a world level, to achieve something at that level
Faith I have. Believing is having. I will have a wonderful life.

Wisdom from Satya, founder of CareerLauncher

"...You live your life by your individual balance sheet, by your own profit and loss statement...Don't waste time on what others think, say, just live your life, your purpose in life. In the end - only you makes sense..."


I heard this is in a TiE "My Story" session

Rich Dad, Poor Dad....in pigs & goats:)

Rich Dad, Poor Dad is one of the most useful book I've read. I read it back in college. Thanks to a friend who couriered it to me to my hostel in some god forbidden remote corner of the North East. The book drove across many points which hit me bang on - and I've not forgotten them, even now. Asset & Liability - how do you differentiate between them, balance sheets, P & L etc. He made them seem so relevant to my life in its various ramifications that I started using those terms.

And was I not proud of it! I gifted copies of that book to all those who matter to me when I started earning.

But I was ashamed of myself when I got to know about the wealth creation abilities of the guy who takes care of L&S - Manoj. Manoj is a 16 year old boy from a remote village in Assam who lives with us. (How he came to live with us is another story which I will blog on later) Manoj has two responsibilities - his two sisters, one elder and one younger. He has nothing else in this world - but good people skills (amazing is the word!!), a sense of reality, ability to work hard.Manoj makes about Rs.2500/month. He saves this amount completely because his other needs are taken care of. He sends money home - but only when it is needed. He thinks his sisters may not have a sense of how much in the money at hand, and end up spending it all.

Anyway, Manoj just came back from home. As usual he gave me a trip recap. I was particularly impressed with his investments -

- 2 piglets. Female. Each @ Rs.1000.
- 4 goats.Each @ Rs.500
- 1 cow which gives 1 litre milk of everyday:)

He has "outsourced" the rearing of all the above to people who are experts in this field:)The deal: 50-50.

2 female pigs will rear 8-10 piglets twice a year. Each will sell for Rs.1000. 50-50%!!

Same logic applies for all.

Isn't that impressive! I know friends who make well over a lakh a month, but end up saving nothing. And look at him. Without reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", he is following the advice:

- started young
- he is paying himself (saving for the future is paying himself)
- knows the difference between asset & liability ( outsourcing, not giving into emotions but investing is assets)

Truly impressive!!

MIT...

Well, not the one in the Cambridge campus by the Charles river in Boston...but the one in my life..."Most Important Task". I've been reading about how to make effective use of time that I've in general ...each hour, each day...etc. I started by getting up early. Its working. There's nothing like getting up early and beating Mr.Sun on his own game. I see him rise up the horizon while I sip my morning cuppa. So long, Mr. Sun ..dream on!

Anyway, now that getting up early is not my battle any longer - deciding what to do with my time is the next question. I view these extra hours that I've in the morning as my perfect world - I don't have to deal with interruptions, or be involved in engagements on trivial matters, or be expected to act in a particular way because the majority thinks a certain a way. Well - there I digressed again.Brought the job into my life, into my blog post. The frustration is so much - more so about me because I'm not doing anything about it. I'm tired of acting as someone else in my day job - well, because I don't want to waste time resolving conflicts, having nonsensical arguments. I can be my argumentative Indian self elsewhere - not the job. It just is not required - or I get into these conversation which yield nothing. Even the brightest idea ( I was talking to someone the other day how effectively social media could be used) does not ring a bell. What's the use?

Anyway - back to MIT.

So, everyday I tell myself - what's the most important task of the day for me today? The process of thinking through it helps me shape up my day. Not always I can identify what's the MIT - those are bad days for me. At the end of those days, I feel indifferent. That's the worst thing - indifference. It should be one extreme:) But yeah - thinking of MIT helps.

What's the MIT for today? Start thinking!!

Where have I been? Starting up!

Well - its been quite some time. But I was up to all good things. Between 16th Dec, which was my entry into the start-up ecosystem at the TiE summit, and now - oh my god, I'm amazed at my own progress. I remember in the TiE summit, I was a nobody looking at these incredibly successful people giving talks on how to convert your ideas to a business to a global firm. But after Open Coffee Club meets and the Proto event, I'm pretty much the ecosystem now.

I know most people, most VCs, most idea generators, most serial entrepreneurs,most incubators - perfect!

I will update more about each of them specifically in my other blog - one for the professional world. But - I'm happy about my progress!

Dear Toon

Dear Toon,

Are you angry with me? Life has taken a fast track again, hasn't it? Several months ago, you could have been sipping tea with me on a day like today - you know Sunday afternoon, England visiting us and cricket on TV …and perhaps even talk about Randy Pausch’s teachings....its so unbelievable that you are not here.

"Keep everyone safe and sound" has become my new prayer - I say these words every time I breathe in. I don't know why we lost you. Its not easy for me to say - life has to go on, but I want to write about a few things. I'm hoping my whole family who I will read this letter to you, read about what I want to tell them. First of all, I want to tell my family - Maa, Deta, Moo, Mama, Mami, Mahi, Moha, Jethai, cousins.... everyone of you, that I love all of you and value all of you.

And through you, I want to tell Roon - we are family brother, we are family.

I want to remind all of my family to live a good life. Please eat healthy, take care of your body, be aware of your body, exercise, be active, be aware of the world and of things in general, have a sound mind and make good use of life.

And now, I want to tell all of them through you - about a great personality, Randy Pausch. I got to know Randy because of you. It was during the days when you were at my home in Bangalore that a friend introduced me to a source of hope and inspiration - Randy Pausch. I wish I could have told you about Randy Pausch when you were with me. But unfortunately, I could not.

But, I now want to tell everyone about him. Before I go ahead Toon, I want to tell you even though I tell myself to have a rational mind I can't always fight my tears. And no, I'm not too proud of those tears.But, here I go.

Randy Pausch was an American professor of computer science, human-computer interaction and design at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Pausch received his bachelor's degree in computer science from Brown University in 1982 and his PhD in computer science from Carnegie Mellon in August 1988. Pausch later became an associate professor at the University of Virginia, before working at Carnegie Mellon as an associate professor.
He gave his "The Last Lecture" speech on September 18, 2007 at Carnegie Mellon. Pausch conceived the lecture after he learned that his previously known pancreatic cancer was terminal.The talk was modeled after an ongoing series of lectures where top academics are asked to think deeply about what matters to them, and then give a hypothetical "final talk", with a topic such as "what wisdom would you try to impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance?" He died on July 25, at the age of 42.
Randy knew about his situation – knew that his days were numbered. But that didn’t take the spirit out of Randy – he tried more than ever to make use of the time that he had. He in fact researched his own medicines/treatment strategy. Randy used to maintain a daily blog – till a week before he could write no more. He planned as much as he could for his family for the time when he is gone. He sorted out his finances with his wife, made educational plans for his three kids. But like most human beings, Randy wanted to be a superhero for his kids – he wanted his kids to remember him as the great father even when he is gone physically. That motivated him to write, “The Last Lecture” – his attempt to leave behind a legend.
In his 42 years of life, Randy achieved a lot :
- Professor at Carnegie Mellon University
- A great marriage with Jai
- Three wonderful kids
- A legend for his kids – his book became a New York Times Bestseller
- More than anything else, he fulfilled all of his childhood dreams
To do all of these, he required an indomitable spirit and “can-do” attitude towards life. That’s the message I want to give to our family, Toon – we need to have the spirit, we need to have dreams, we need to create value out of life – we need to go that extra mile, be disciplined to justify the purpose our life.
Through this letter to you, I would encourage all of my family, specially the young, to read the following and be inspired –
- “How to really live all your childhood dreams”
- Randy’s time management tricks
- The Last Lecture
Please reach out to me – whoever needs the books.
I read somewhere Toon, death is the next phase of life. May be that’s what it is. But I do know that we should make best use of the time we have in hand – reach out to those who need us, create an impact, make this world a little better because we lived.
In so many ways – you’ve done that, brother. You were the ideal son, the sincere student, the composed human being. You taught us many things – its up to us now to maximise our lives. That’s what makes sense, right brother?
Perturbed as I’m to the core, I’m trying to spread some soothing thoughts. That’s my intention brother, nothing else.
May we all make good use of our lives. Bless us brother – give us your good sensibility and judgement. Watch over us.
- Majoni Ba


P.S. – Please forgive me, Toon, if I had hurt you in anyway during the period that you stayed with us. No, I couldn’t relate to the acute pain that you experienced. Perhaps I could have done better. I didn’t know I was running against time. But this is my promise brother, I will try to use my time well and touch as many lives as I can.

Silence after the mayhem

No, No... I've not given up. Not after all the mayhem,bloodshed and the war on my country. No, I've not given up. I'm just preparing my to-do list. This time I need time to think through the list.

Basic rules - action within my scope of control, timelines, accountability - all basic project management. But yes, this time its my country who needs my services.

I started with a small step - spreading awareness. Now, one would argue that's vague. But this is how I've achieved objectiveness

- Never remain silent when I, to the best of my knowledge, know that I'm hearing is incorrect - morally and factually
- Influence through written and spoken words. Start contributing to the local dailies of Assam. I will have to start small - graduate from my state to my country and who knows, to the world. And as Maa says, people in the cities have access to publications but its the people in places like Guwahati who need hope, assurance and ideas.
- Educate the uneducated Indians; not letters but ideals. My action - teach Manoj. Today I taught him about the geographical boundaries of India, earth's rotation & revolution. I want him to appreciate the world at large, and grow out of his small village. THis is my dream for every Indian
- Learn, learn, learn - Indian history, world history, politics, economics, international relations - with sis & Rajib. Answers to today's problems are often found in history. So, I will make myself aware.
- Make an attempt at Civil Services. If ISB happens, take social entrepreneurship seriously. Otherwise, start executing the plan. My hope preparing for IAS will atleast give me the foundation to know my country & world diplomacy/affairs better. I can always reconsider how best is to serve the country, make use of my life
- Intelligence, ability are gifts. Make use of them. And its a sin if I don't use, and more so, if I let incapable people lead me. Leadership is an attitude. And leaders are also responsible to rectify irresponsible leadership of mistaken-leadership

Keep motivation high

Decent democracy

The decent, peaceful transition happening in White House currently from President Bush to President-elect Obama has left me wondering - why do we lack decency so much? What's the root cause? Why do we need to tolerate leaders who are in the news for abusing reporters, airport officers, mud-slinging at opposition for the sake of opposing,criminals....? Why? Why can't our leaders be self-respecting, decent human beings? Why? Why do they have to be noisy, indecent to be political leaders?

President-elect Obama;s first press conference

What did I do last night? I stayed up till 1:20 AM to wait for President-elect Obama to address his very first press conference after the victory speech. And he was very president like. Composed. Cautious. Yeah he needed to be. His speech has to be measured - millions are following him, having found a hero, an idol finally. But even amidst discussion of economic crisis, taxation policy ( a sweet spot for the journalists), foreign policy, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Russia he managed to talk about the new puppy that he owes Malia and Sasha. That's what I love about him. You're my man, Barack. You're my hero.

Obama's family is planning to adopt a shelter dog. God bless you good souls.

Life is in control if you forget worrying about death

Is it because of the fear of leaving the world without the story being told? May be. With the current uncertainties, may this is the way. But life is in control if you forget worrying about death. And that's how it should be.

The other day my kid sister had a bad dream. Little girl - she called me up and shared her dream. She was disturbed. I told her what I had discovered myself - that there is hope. And I told her good that she had the dream, atleast now she knows some thoughts were buried in her system somewhere and now are being expressed. The key is to wash those thoughts away from the system. They are just extra baggage. Obviously she told me - "Yeah Ba, I know. I will be fine. Its just the situation in Assam, and Maa & Deta live their alone". I remembered Rhonda Bryne and I told her, think good, you will get good. And I believe in it strongly. There's hope. Make best of life. Live it without worries. I believe in the strength of my prayers.

I felt bad for her. She lives alone.I need to do more than just think. Love you sis.

And then I remembered my own paranoia. The blasts in India had left me completely disturbed. But somehow, I have hope now. Its very immature to be so obsessed with Obama. But his win has given me hope. If nothing else, I've a direction in life. Focus. And sometimes you need those forces in life.Someone who is testimony to the fact that anything is possible, if the intention is right and there is sincerity and hardwork.

Life's bucket list

Its very important to have one - or who knows you might end up living a life that means nothing to you. I wanted to make mine today - pretty much because I thought I needed focus in life. For once, I wanted to assume there's no limitation in the world - you know truly "impossible is nothing" types, and dream on... what can possibly motivate me each day, everyday to go that extra mile - to make use of my life? It's not an easy discussion - and every time I start this exercise I end up in bed with a headache that dispirin can't cure.

But I'm proud of myself that I attempted very hard!

There again I started the day with today's editions of MINT, Economic Times, Times of India ( this one is losing respect soon for the level of journalism) and, BBC and CNN.What would I do without news channels? R actually suggested that I take consider studying Public Policy and who knows serve Indian Government by being Rahm Emanuel if not Barack Obama. Not a bad thought! But I wonder if Indian politicians would ever need qualified public policy advisers. Anyway.

On another note, it was encouraging to see so many Indians in Obama's transition team - Preeta Bansal, Sonal Shah... I heard a few more names that I can't recollect now. When will India feel the need of them?

Here's what another respected channel reports - Boby Jindal might as well be the Republican presidential nominee.... wow! not bad!

But anyway, I was supposed to write about my bucket list. But somehow all the preceding discussions have a connection - very much related to my bucket list. Here's an attempt:

- A healthy, fit me and promote the same to Maa, Deta, Moo and R ( the last one is almost impossible, he can't give up junk!)
- A completely aware me. I must be as updated as CNN, BBC, Newsweek, WSJ,Vogue(!!),HBR, McKinsey Quarterly. Spread the same to Maa, Deta, Moo. (R is already ahead in the game)
- Find/help sis find her life partner - her best friend (after me!), my younger brother that I never had
- Write. In local dailies of Assam so that I can share what I read/learnt
- Write a book(s) ( I already have many story outlines chalked out. I need to start expanding them)
- Form a organisation which employs the best talent, intellectual capital and creates employment
- Travel a lot. See the world with sis and R. Show the world to Maa, Deta.
- Adopt 2 dogs of each breed!
- Have a big bungalow with a BIG garden where all the homeless dogs of the area can find love, food and shelter
- Find a solution to the stray animals problem
- Preserve Assam's culture. Bring in progress to the land
- Research on terrorists. Explore if written words can ever solve violence.
- Be a smart, intelligent mom - the one my daughter/son love and admire
- Once in my life, attend Harvard Business School. If I can't be a student, I will see if I can do my PHD there, or who knows teach there someday
- Love and security of my family - the most important thing in the world. At the same time what matters is linking them to the progressive world, to the greatness of the world
- Get Maa, Deta interested in world affairs, help them educate themselves. I want them to see today's world.
- Spread home
- Discover myself, and celebrate my uniqueness
- One day become my hero - Barack Obama (Columbia, Harvard Law School, President of USA, a loving father, pet lover, intellectually inclined, motivator, author, loyal spouse, leader, problem solver, strength of character - a great idol!)
- Above all - have hope, give hope. Inspire. Motivate!

My parents' dreams of me after Obama

I am still reeling in the news of Obama's success. In some ways, I consider this my personal victory. In some strange ways I could relate to Jesse Jackson's tears, and to the cries of victory in Times Square. Yes - one would argue what do I know of Jesse's struggle to claim affinity? Very right. Probably being born to parents who belong to post independence India, I've no clue. But I do identify the feeling, and in some watered down versions of it still face it everyday - if not directly, through the struggles and pain of the brothers and sisters of my community. We have such a long way to go, and yet we keep ourselves busy in wars of religion, caste, and our own narrow visions ramified in our own narrow worlds. We have such a long way to go - human life can be so much better.

And in the midst of all the excitement and emotional whirlwind, my parents say something...

My parents have not been as involved with the election campaign as I was. In general, for them the local Assamese daily carries all the news that they care about the world. The world outside that newspaper seems so distant for them, so far away, so un-real. I'm perhaps their only connection to the world. And I've been bugging them with so much talking about Obama that my poor parents were forced to educate themselves on the American election and specifically on Obama. Bless their good souls - how much they will do for me! And my sister - I converted each of them to my hopes, my dreams, my beliefs. Thank you - Ma, Deta, Moo and now, Rajib.

Anyway, without digressing - my dad calls me full of excitement in the morning. He was traveling to work from home - he works in another town in Assam, away from our home. He perhaps had the solitude to make this calls; he usually doesn't do this heart-to-heart talk with his daughter in the presence of Maa. " Majoni, you must be still busy reading about Obama, enjoying his victory".And then he prepares for the ultimate objective of the call, " He has proved if there is a hope, a dream and a belief, its possible. You just need to dream big and strong".I agree energetically as I have been long engaged in this mission of making them aware of what's possible in this progressive world. And then comes the thunder, "Majoni, you've to become our Obama. You must. The world needs, specially our corner of the world, needs such forces. You will be able to do it" And then as if I'm almost in between things, he goes ahead to predict road blocks," But our system is a problem. Honesty and sincerity are put to challenge in our system. You must have the grit. But I guess being from the old world, I can caution you of the probabilities." Just at that moment, the network got disconnected. Good it did. Thank you - Assam's winding roads through hills. I could not have taken more of it. There was too much going on in my head.

After a few minutes, almost like a plot of conspiracy unfolding, Maa calls." So how are you feeling?" In some ways, my parents treat Obama's win as my personal victory. I respond to that question with gibberish -so much to say, so many good thoughts in my mind. Then in her motherly censure, " How long will we keep admiring other countries, other leaders? When will your generation give us that hope? Rise up to the cause!" That's my mother. She doesn't waste two minutes to tell me that her moment of pride is in seeing me do something that will change the lives of the majority of the community for better, rather than seeing me live a comfortable life in a beautiful house. This has been her tone always. But it become stronger after she finished reading "Daughter of the East". Doing good to the masses is her religion. She follows it passionately.

Maa, Deta - you've expressed a strong dream to me today. The very fact that you believe in my ability is inspiration, responsibility enough. I don't know how to collect myself. But I will for sure. Thank you for the strength. My life means so much more than the frustration in office, frustration over the boss who limits me everywhere, frustration from the system - your words spoken today will me steer me through the journey and accompany me to the destination. The journey doesn't seem difficult any longer; the challenges on the way don't bother me for I can see the world beyond the mountains. Thank you again.

But to start the journey, I need to prepare. And the first step is to cleanse myself. I must teach myself to think about the good - the benefit of all, benefit of self too - all balanced, and symbiotic. Lift everyone else with me. But to be able to know of the possibilities, I must first lift myself - see the elevated plan.

Kopili, I hope you're reading my thoughts. That's our journey Kopili, to make the best of our life. To work hard. To have dreams. And to conquer the world - with goodness, with talent, with sensitivity towards one and all.

I feel so much better!

Hurrah Obama! Audacity of hope!

Yup - the first projections are out... Obama is all set to win the very important battleground state of Pennsylvania, and hence all set to win the elections. And I can't hide my excitement. I almost risked my position yesterday in a meeting with conservatives - but Obama did it. And by doing it, he gave hope to the likes of me - several thousand miles away!

Why did I wake up 5 AM to see the CNN update? Why does Obama's win mean so much to me? For Obama is a testimony to the fact - if you have a dream, you can do it. Thank you, Obama. I don't have political affinity or preference to any of the American parties - but I do know Senator Obama had all that it takes to lead. Impeccable character. Honest. Calm. Inclusive. Progressive. Fair. Charming.Inspiring. That's what is needed in the world today - an unifying force.

Obama - audacity of hope.

Evolution

I had not shared this to anyone - but yes I got shortlisted for an interview by ISB for the class of 2010. The interview was good, but lets see where do I fit into ISB's scheme of things. I know diversity is a big thing, and only the school can assess how do I bring diversity to the class. I'm hopeful.

In between I've also been working on my business plan - the one around conserving the weaving crafts of the North East, especially the silk weaves. Before the ISB interview, I was working hard on this plan. I had taken a big break in between - various reasons - mostly mental disturbance because of the recent incidents in Assam. But I guess I should be doubly determined now to continue to work on the plan.

I did think in between if going the entrepreneur way makes sense as I need the security of money. Having money is having one less problem in this world.And why spend your time worrying/struggling for money when life is short and there are better things to put your life to use. I so much need the money to give my family what I want to give - and sometimes even for the mere sense of security.

I will work hard. Have dreams. And follow them.

And above all - I will remain positive about the state of things. There is peace round the corner.

Obama...my leader!

I don't have political affinity. But being an outsider, I can only say I'm charmed by Obama's leadership. He brings people together. He is a gentleman. He has the qualities that a man admires and hopes to attain to become a higher human being. Yes, Obama you have my intangible vote. And if you become the president, you will do wonders to my confidence - you will give flight to my wings of ambitions. You've inspired me a lot, and I will closely follow you. I hope, I pray you continue to inspire and White House (if) doesn't change you.

And I wish India had its own Obama - a force that unifies and gives hope to its youth.

Outsource to India! But don't think!

I don't know how many of you will agree - but this whole outsourcing thing has maimed the thinking capacity of those who are capable of thinking. The amount of meaningless activities that go on in such "outsourced" environments drive me towards frustration, made a "zombie" out of me.

4 and half years back when I joined the industry, I took pride in my "potential" - in my high motivation and energy. Some years down the line, the management of the outsourced industry ensured that my motivation, aspiration and energy is weaned off each day. Yeah - I started viewing myself a misfit to the industry. There's no need for original thinkers, for that spark of genius - you only need to keep following "processes". There is no space for creative thinking.

My boss too has succeeded in totally crippling my wings, by making sure that he makes me realize that he is better than me in whatever skills the organization needs - more often not the skills are "copy and paste" and format PPTs! There is no incentive to stay current with what's happening in this world as long as you know your processes right. Forget about all the excitement in the field of research in your area - they are so waste of time! The whole environment is so deprived of IQ that "going green" is associated with having green dressing theme! Give me a break, please - I need it.

My boss in order to make himself feel good criticizes everything that I've a knack for:) While doing it, he ensures that spark in me is killed and I too become a zombie like him.Another set of hands in the assembly like. Keep following the process, don't think!

Hello, Boss.You're so wrong. Your insensitive has only made me follow my dreams with a vengeance. I'm waiting for the day I can look into his eyes and say, " And you said I don't know what I want in life, and that I'm confused, and that ...." You were so wrong. Can't help it if my spark makes you insecure. That's how I'm!

But then, its not my boss's fault. I'm sure he too has the same frustration. The cribbing is universal across the different levels in an "outsourced" environment. But I will not sit and suffer. I will go out and do. Sorry, boss if your appraisal looks bad next year if you couldn't retain me - I need to "think" and keep alive the spark!
You can join me next year if you want to - atleast I will ensure you grow in the job!

Some thougts...

Now I've been turmoil in the past few days - its not a "new" situation with me. But the blasts in my Guwahati has degraded my situation.The insecurity, the uncertainty surrounding my homeland disturbs me.... but no more.

They can't terrorize me! I will live life - a happy life everyday, have hope, and look forward towards a bright future.

God bless my Ma, Deta and my sister. God bless them with a long healthy and happy life. God give them enough energy every day to make most of life each day, everyday. God give them energy to create impacts in whatever ways - and make the world a better place. God give me that state of calm to make best use of the skills that I was born with to make a better world.

God bless R and me to prepare for a better future.

God bless Assam, North East, my country and the world with peace and prosperity. God give me strength and motivation to change things, to make things better.

I will do what needs to be done - live a happy life, and make best of every day!

Amen to good thoughts!

Enough is enough!

Whoever...whoever planned those blasts? What kind of elements are you made of? Did you not see the little 5 year old girl with 80% burn suffer in pain? How was she responsible in anyway? She was just coming back from school!

Have some respect for yourself - for the life that flows inside you. What pleasure do you get out of this? What is your whole point? Has anything ever been achieved by bomb blasts, by innocent killings? Do they help feed stomachs, create jobs, preserve identity? We all need a world to live in. Give that a thought.

I'm sure you're motivated enough. Just do a bit more - if you've convictions, speak them out, debate them out like a respectable intelligent human being - in forums, in books - let your voice be heard. Why go the terror way when you can solve problems by collaborating with the mainstream? Pause. Think. If you're doing these things in the name of conserving identity - do it with intellectual pursuits. If you're fighting for economic progress, lets all brainstorm and create jobs, build enterprises.

Speak out loud - what are your eventual objectives at human needs level?

Whatever they might be, they can't be achieved by killings. It is wise to use the energy more effectively elsewhere.