Is it because of the fear of leaving the world without the story being told? May be. With the current uncertainties, may this is the way. But life is in control if you forget worrying about death. And that's how it should be.
The other day my kid sister had a bad dream. Little girl - she called me up and shared her dream. She was disturbed. I told her what I had discovered myself - that there is hope. And I told her good that she had the dream, atleast now she knows some thoughts were buried in her system somewhere and now are being expressed. The key is to wash those thoughts away from the system. They are just extra baggage. Obviously she told me - "Yeah Ba, I know. I will be fine. Its just the situation in Assam, and Maa & Deta live their alone". I remembered Rhonda Bryne and I told her, think good, you will get good. And I believe in it strongly. There's hope. Make best of life. Live it without worries. I believe in the strength of my prayers.
I felt bad for her. She lives alone.I need to do more than just think. Love you sis.
And then I remembered my own paranoia. The blasts in India had left me completely disturbed. But somehow, I have hope now. Its very immature to be so obsessed with Obama. But his win has given me hope. If nothing else, I've a direction in life. Focus. And sometimes you need those forces in life.Someone who is testimony to the fact that anything is possible, if the intention is right and there is sincerity and hardwork.
Showing posts with label Sis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sis. Show all posts
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
My parents' dreams of me after Obama
I am still reeling in the news of Obama's success. In some ways, I consider this my personal victory. In some strange ways I could relate to Jesse Jackson's tears, and to the cries of victory in Times Square. Yes - one would argue what do I know of Jesse's struggle to claim affinity? Very right. Probably being born to parents who belong to post independence India, I've no clue. But I do identify the feeling, and in some watered down versions of it still face it everyday - if not directly, through the struggles and pain of the brothers and sisters of my community. We have such a long way to go, and yet we keep ourselves busy in wars of religion, caste, and our own narrow visions ramified in our own narrow worlds. We have such a long way to go - human life can be so much better.
And in the midst of all the excitement and emotional whirlwind, my parents say something...
My parents have not been as involved with the election campaign as I was. In general, for them the local Assamese daily carries all the news that they care about the world. The world outside that newspaper seems so distant for them, so far away, so un-real. I'm perhaps their only connection to the world. And I've been bugging them with so much talking about Obama that my poor parents were forced to educate themselves on the American election and specifically on Obama. Bless their good souls - how much they will do for me! And my sister - I converted each of them to my hopes, my dreams, my beliefs. Thank you - Ma, Deta, Moo and now, Rajib.
Anyway, without digressing - my dad calls me full of excitement in the morning. He was traveling to work from home - he works in another town in Assam, away from our home. He perhaps had the solitude to make this calls; he usually doesn't do this heart-to-heart talk with his daughter in the presence of Maa. " Majoni, you must be still busy reading about Obama, enjoying his victory".And then he prepares for the ultimate objective of the call, " He has proved if there is a hope, a dream and a belief, its possible. You just need to dream big and strong".I agree energetically as I have been long engaged in this mission of making them aware of what's possible in this progressive world. And then comes the thunder, "Majoni, you've to become our Obama. You must. The world needs, specially our corner of the world, needs such forces. You will be able to do it" And then as if I'm almost in between things, he goes ahead to predict road blocks," But our system is a problem. Honesty and sincerity are put to challenge in our system. You must have the grit. But I guess being from the old world, I can caution you of the probabilities." Just at that moment, the network got disconnected. Good it did. Thank you - Assam's winding roads through hills. I could not have taken more of it. There was too much going on in my head.
After a few minutes, almost like a plot of conspiracy unfolding, Maa calls." So how are you feeling?" In some ways, my parents treat Obama's win as my personal victory. I respond to that question with gibberish -so much to say, so many good thoughts in my mind. Then in her motherly censure, " How long will we keep admiring other countries, other leaders? When will your generation give us that hope? Rise up to the cause!" That's my mother. She doesn't waste two minutes to tell me that her moment of pride is in seeing me do something that will change the lives of the majority of the community for better, rather than seeing me live a comfortable life in a beautiful house. This has been her tone always. But it become stronger after she finished reading "Daughter of the East". Doing good to the masses is her religion. She follows it passionately.
Maa, Deta - you've expressed a strong dream to me today. The very fact that you believe in my ability is inspiration, responsibility enough. I don't know how to collect myself. But I will for sure. Thank you for the strength. My life means so much more than the frustration in office, frustration over the boss who limits me everywhere, frustration from the system - your words spoken today will me steer me through the journey and accompany me to the destination. The journey doesn't seem difficult any longer; the challenges on the way don't bother me for I can see the world beyond the mountains. Thank you again.
But to start the journey, I need to prepare. And the first step is to cleanse myself. I must teach myself to think about the good - the benefit of all, benefit of self too - all balanced, and symbiotic. Lift everyone else with me. But to be able to know of the possibilities, I must first lift myself - see the elevated plan.
Kopili, I hope you're reading my thoughts. That's our journey Kopili, to make the best of our life. To work hard. To have dreams. And to conquer the world - with goodness, with talent, with sensitivity towards one and all.
I feel so much better!
And in the midst of all the excitement and emotional whirlwind, my parents say something...
My parents have not been as involved with the election campaign as I was. In general, for them the local Assamese daily carries all the news that they care about the world. The world outside that newspaper seems so distant for them, so far away, so un-real. I'm perhaps their only connection to the world. And I've been bugging them with so much talking about Obama that my poor parents were forced to educate themselves on the American election and specifically on Obama. Bless their good souls - how much they will do for me! And my sister - I converted each of them to my hopes, my dreams, my beliefs. Thank you - Ma, Deta, Moo and now, Rajib.
Anyway, without digressing - my dad calls me full of excitement in the morning. He was traveling to work from home - he works in another town in Assam, away from our home. He perhaps had the solitude to make this calls; he usually doesn't do this heart-to-heart talk with his daughter in the presence of Maa. " Majoni, you must be still busy reading about Obama, enjoying his victory".And then he prepares for the ultimate objective of the call, " He has proved if there is a hope, a dream and a belief, its possible. You just need to dream big and strong".I agree energetically as I have been long engaged in this mission of making them aware of what's possible in this progressive world. And then comes the thunder, "Majoni, you've to become our Obama. You must. The world needs, specially our corner of the world, needs such forces. You will be able to do it" And then as if I'm almost in between things, he goes ahead to predict road blocks," But our system is a problem. Honesty and sincerity are put to challenge in our system. You must have the grit. But I guess being from the old world, I can caution you of the probabilities." Just at that moment, the network got disconnected. Good it did. Thank you - Assam's winding roads through hills. I could not have taken more of it. There was too much going on in my head.
After a few minutes, almost like a plot of conspiracy unfolding, Maa calls." So how are you feeling?" In some ways, my parents treat Obama's win as my personal victory. I respond to that question with gibberish -so much to say, so many good thoughts in my mind. Then in her motherly censure, " How long will we keep admiring other countries, other leaders? When will your generation give us that hope? Rise up to the cause!" That's my mother. She doesn't waste two minutes to tell me that her moment of pride is in seeing me do something that will change the lives of the majority of the community for better, rather than seeing me live a comfortable life in a beautiful house. This has been her tone always. But it become stronger after she finished reading "Daughter of the East". Doing good to the masses is her religion. She follows it passionately.
Maa, Deta - you've expressed a strong dream to me today. The very fact that you believe in my ability is inspiration, responsibility enough. I don't know how to collect myself. But I will for sure. Thank you for the strength. My life means so much more than the frustration in office, frustration over the boss who limits me everywhere, frustration from the system - your words spoken today will me steer me through the journey and accompany me to the destination. The journey doesn't seem difficult any longer; the challenges on the way don't bother me for I can see the world beyond the mountains. Thank you again.
But to start the journey, I need to prepare. And the first step is to cleanse myself. I must teach myself to think about the good - the benefit of all, benefit of self too - all balanced, and symbiotic. Lift everyone else with me. But to be able to know of the possibilities, I must first lift myself - see the elevated plan.
Kopili, I hope you're reading my thoughts. That's our journey Kopili, to make the best of our life. To work hard. To have dreams. And to conquer the world - with goodness, with talent, with sensitivity towards one and all.
I feel so much better!
Monday, August 04, 2008
A busy weekend, and a new home!
Yes, I've been to Mumbai for the weekend, extended weekend I should stay for the weekend began on a Thursday evening.
The news that I received on Thursday itself was not good. Mom called up to say one of sis's close friends high school passed away on a road accident. He was the pillion rider. Mom asked me not to mention this to sis over the phone, and talk about it when I get to Mumbai at night from Bangalore.Buki, that's what we called him. He was Vishal otherwise. Can't describe my feelings - felt awkward. I've decided to train my mind to think less and less, and concentrate on what we have. Funny how sis can say such matters of truth is simple things. She puts things simply - her strength. And I've to make a melodrama out of everything, using complex sentences with phrases and clauses. Its simplicity which offers life's wise lessons I guess.
Anyway, reached Mumbai at 11:15 PM in the night. Reached home ion Powai at around 12:30 AM. This was the last night in the house in Powai. The next day is when we shift to the new flat in Mulund behind Nirmal Lifestyle. That's the mission I'm here in Mumbai for.
The next morning was a lot of packing, unpacking, cleaning and expressing irritation, "Why do you shop so much? Why do you leave all these bottles unfinished and buy new ones?" Well 0 the truth is even I do so. But right now the subject is "sis" and not me, and she, not me, will be critiqued:)
Well, in transit from POwai to Mulund we lost the brand new Sony camera. One more reason for me to give her lectures on being "responsible". And those who know me never knew me as "responsible". But being in charge of the mission gave me rights to "lecture".
I called the packers & movers, and the guy had to say, "The camera accidentally slid out of my bag to his bag!!" Whoa!! I could never decode that mystery. But surprise of surprises, the guy did come to return the camera. Spirit of Mumbai? May be! He said the other guy flicked it, and that the guy in question was bashed up when the sin was discovered.Anyway - lesson learnt.
And then cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. the previous tenants were a bunch of guys. And now guys don't know what is cleanliness and the needs of hygiene! So one can imagine the volume of work.
ANd then there was fixing, fixing and more fixing to be done. Carpenter, plumber, electrician - which other vocation did I leave out?
But the good news - the owner is an extremely sweet person. She ends every telephonic conversation with,"God bless you my dear. Take care". She sent us breakfast, lunch and dinner all the three days!
And she a Golden Retriever - MAX! And the bonus - the folks staying the in the flat across have 2 dogs - a cocker spaniel Jenny, who was an exact replica of our own Butterly and a Rottweiler named WIncy! What more can you ask for!
We called the land lady for tea on Sunday afternoon. The "head fake" here was to impress her. We were so sure of our good skills of doing up the place that we wanted to hear the compliments loud and clear. And she did throw the compliments loud and clear. Have to ask sis to send a few pics of her new place!
And yes, I forgot to mention the movie marathon. The fact that we were 3 mins walk away from PVR is the icing on the cake. Actually its PVR + Crossword + AT home + Shopper's Stop + W + all the good places to eat! So on Saturday evening it was Mummy. And then on Sunday - "Ugly aur pagli" and "Caramel". Back to back. One screen to the other.What an experience. Caramel was a beautiful experience. One of sis's colleague - a guy, also watched "Caramel" with us. Poor fellow - Caramel is so much a feminine movie, he must have been completely bored. But sis & I decided to ignore the fact, and sink in. It is indeed a beautiful movie.
And then on Monday morning - the first flight to Bangalore. Woke up at 3:30 AM to catch the flight. And then another day at work. God save all those who work in the outsourcing industry. We will soon forget to think!
And after all this, miss sis around. She is alone in her new flat for the first time. Big girl she is now. I know she will manage, and show me how to in a few days!
Read Kongki and her sis's blogs. The "sisterhood" that they share and expressed in one of their blogs triggered me to write this blog too. Even when I'm tired from the travel, and know that I should rather be solving that math problem from the Official Guide or write the bullets for my essay. But then....
"Its about where you want to go, where others have gone may not be where you want to go."
The news that I received on Thursday itself was not good. Mom called up to say one of sis's close friends high school passed away on a road accident. He was the pillion rider. Mom asked me not to mention this to sis over the phone, and talk about it when I get to Mumbai at night from Bangalore.Buki, that's what we called him. He was Vishal otherwise. Can't describe my feelings - felt awkward. I've decided to train my mind to think less and less, and concentrate on what we have. Funny how sis can say such matters of truth is simple things. She puts things simply - her strength. And I've to make a melodrama out of everything, using complex sentences with phrases and clauses. Its simplicity which offers life's wise lessons I guess.
Anyway, reached Mumbai at 11:15 PM in the night. Reached home ion Powai at around 12:30 AM. This was the last night in the house in Powai. The next day is when we shift to the new flat in Mulund behind Nirmal Lifestyle. That's the mission I'm here in Mumbai for.
The next morning was a lot of packing, unpacking, cleaning and expressing irritation, "Why do you shop so much? Why do you leave all these bottles unfinished and buy new ones?" Well 0 the truth is even I do so. But right now the subject is "sis" and not me, and she, not me, will be critiqued:)
Well, in transit from POwai to Mulund we lost the brand new Sony camera. One more reason for me to give her lectures on being "responsible". And those who know me never knew me as "responsible". But being in charge of the mission gave me rights to "lecture".
I called the packers & movers, and the guy had to say, "The camera accidentally slid out of my bag to his bag!!" Whoa!! I could never decode that mystery. But surprise of surprises, the guy did come to return the camera. Spirit of Mumbai? May be! He said the other guy flicked it, and that the guy in question was bashed up when the sin was discovered.Anyway - lesson learnt.
And then cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning. the previous tenants were a bunch of guys. And now guys don't know what is cleanliness and the needs of hygiene! So one can imagine the volume of work.
ANd then there was fixing, fixing and more fixing to be done. Carpenter, plumber, electrician - which other vocation did I leave out?
But the good news - the owner is an extremely sweet person. She ends every telephonic conversation with,"God bless you my dear. Take care". She sent us breakfast, lunch and dinner all the three days!
And she a Golden Retriever - MAX! And the bonus - the folks staying the in the flat across have 2 dogs - a cocker spaniel Jenny, who was an exact replica of our own Butterly and a Rottweiler named WIncy! What more can you ask for!
We called the land lady for tea on Sunday afternoon. The "head fake" here was to impress her. We were so sure of our good skills of doing up the place that we wanted to hear the compliments loud and clear. And she did throw the compliments loud and clear. Have to ask sis to send a few pics of her new place!
And yes, I forgot to mention the movie marathon. The fact that we were 3 mins walk away from PVR is the icing on the cake. Actually its PVR + Crossword + AT home + Shopper's Stop + W + all the good places to eat! So on Saturday evening it was Mummy. And then on Sunday - "Ugly aur pagli" and "Caramel". Back to back. One screen to the other.What an experience. Caramel was a beautiful experience. One of sis's colleague - a guy, also watched "Caramel" with us. Poor fellow - Caramel is so much a feminine movie, he must have been completely bored. But sis & I decided to ignore the fact, and sink in. It is indeed a beautiful movie.
And then on Monday morning - the first flight to Bangalore. Woke up at 3:30 AM to catch the flight. And then another day at work. God save all those who work in the outsourcing industry. We will soon forget to think!
And after all this, miss sis around. She is alone in her new flat for the first time. Big girl she is now. I know she will manage, and show me how to in a few days!
Read Kongki and her sis's blogs. The "sisterhood" that they share and expressed in one of their blogs triggered me to write this blog too. Even when I'm tired from the travel, and know that I should rather be solving that math problem from the Official Guide or write the bullets for my essay. But then....
"Its about where you want to go, where others have gone may not be where you want to go."
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