Dear Toon

Dear Toon,

Are you angry with me? Life has taken a fast track again, hasn't it? Several months ago, you could have been sipping tea with me on a day like today - you know Sunday afternoon, England visiting us and cricket on TV …and perhaps even talk about Randy Pausch’s teachings....its so unbelievable that you are not here.

"Keep everyone safe and sound" has become my new prayer - I say these words every time I breathe in. I don't know why we lost you. Its not easy for me to say - life has to go on, but I want to write about a few things. I'm hoping my whole family who I will read this letter to you, read about what I want to tell them. First of all, I want to tell my family - Maa, Deta, Moo, Mama, Mami, Mahi, Moha, Jethai, cousins.... everyone of you, that I love all of you and value all of you.

And through you, I want to tell Roon - we are family brother, we are family.

I want to remind all of my family to live a good life. Please eat healthy, take care of your body, be aware of your body, exercise, be active, be aware of the world and of things in general, have a sound mind and make good use of life.

And now, I want to tell all of them through you - about a great personality, Randy Pausch. I got to know Randy because of you. It was during the days when you were at my home in Bangalore that a friend introduced me to a source of hope and inspiration - Randy Pausch. I wish I could have told you about Randy Pausch when you were with me. But unfortunately, I could not.

But, I now want to tell everyone about him. Before I go ahead Toon, I want to tell you even though I tell myself to have a rational mind I can't always fight my tears. And no, I'm not too proud of those tears.But, here I go.

Randy Pausch was an American professor of computer science, human-computer interaction and design at Carnegie Mellon University (CMU) in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Pausch received his bachelor's degree in computer science from Brown University in 1982 and his PhD in computer science from Carnegie Mellon in August 1988. Pausch later became an associate professor at the University of Virginia, before working at Carnegie Mellon as an associate professor.
He gave his "The Last Lecture" speech on September 18, 2007 at Carnegie Mellon. Pausch conceived the lecture after he learned that his previously known pancreatic cancer was terminal.The talk was modeled after an ongoing series of lectures where top academics are asked to think deeply about what matters to them, and then give a hypothetical "final talk", with a topic such as "what wisdom would you try to impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance?" He died on July 25, at the age of 42.
Randy knew about his situation – knew that his days were numbered. But that didn’t take the spirit out of Randy – he tried more than ever to make use of the time that he had. He in fact researched his own medicines/treatment strategy. Randy used to maintain a daily blog – till a week before he could write no more. He planned as much as he could for his family for the time when he is gone. He sorted out his finances with his wife, made educational plans for his three kids. But like most human beings, Randy wanted to be a superhero for his kids – he wanted his kids to remember him as the great father even when he is gone physically. That motivated him to write, “The Last Lecture” – his attempt to leave behind a legend.
In his 42 years of life, Randy achieved a lot :
- Professor at Carnegie Mellon University
- A great marriage with Jai
- Three wonderful kids
- A legend for his kids – his book became a New York Times Bestseller
- More than anything else, he fulfilled all of his childhood dreams
To do all of these, he required an indomitable spirit and “can-do” attitude towards life. That’s the message I want to give to our family, Toon – we need to have the spirit, we need to have dreams, we need to create value out of life – we need to go that extra mile, be disciplined to justify the purpose our life.
Through this letter to you, I would encourage all of my family, specially the young, to read the following and be inspired –
- “How to really live all your childhood dreams”
- Randy’s time management tricks
- The Last Lecture
Please reach out to me – whoever needs the books.
I read somewhere Toon, death is the next phase of life. May be that’s what it is. But I do know that we should make best use of the time we have in hand – reach out to those who need us, create an impact, make this world a little better because we lived.
In so many ways – you’ve done that, brother. You were the ideal son, the sincere student, the composed human being. You taught us many things – its up to us now to maximise our lives. That’s what makes sense, right brother?
Perturbed as I’m to the core, I’m trying to spread some soothing thoughts. That’s my intention brother, nothing else.
May we all make good use of our lives. Bless us brother – give us your good sensibility and judgement. Watch over us.
- Majoni Ba


P.S. – Please forgive me, Toon, if I had hurt you in anyway during the period that you stayed with us. No, I couldn’t relate to the acute pain that you experienced. Perhaps I could have done better. I didn’t know I was running against time. But this is my promise brother, I will try to use my time well and touch as many lives as I can.

Silence after the mayhem

No, No... I've not given up. Not after all the mayhem,bloodshed and the war on my country. No, I've not given up. I'm just preparing my to-do list. This time I need time to think through the list.

Basic rules - action within my scope of control, timelines, accountability - all basic project management. But yes, this time its my country who needs my services.

I started with a small step - spreading awareness. Now, one would argue that's vague. But this is how I've achieved objectiveness

- Never remain silent when I, to the best of my knowledge, know that I'm hearing is incorrect - morally and factually
- Influence through written and spoken words. Start contributing to the local dailies of Assam. I will have to start small - graduate from my state to my country and who knows, to the world. And as Maa says, people in the cities have access to publications but its the people in places like Guwahati who need hope, assurance and ideas.
- Educate the uneducated Indians; not letters but ideals. My action - teach Manoj. Today I taught him about the geographical boundaries of India, earth's rotation & revolution. I want him to appreciate the world at large, and grow out of his small village. THis is my dream for every Indian
- Learn, learn, learn - Indian history, world history, politics, economics, international relations - with sis & Rajib. Answers to today's problems are often found in history. So, I will make myself aware.
- Make an attempt at Civil Services. If ISB happens, take social entrepreneurship seriously. Otherwise, start executing the plan. My hope preparing for IAS will atleast give me the foundation to know my country & world diplomacy/affairs better. I can always reconsider how best is to serve the country, make use of my life
- Intelligence, ability are gifts. Make use of them. And its a sin if I don't use, and more so, if I let incapable people lead me. Leadership is an attitude. And leaders are also responsible to rectify irresponsible leadership of mistaken-leadership

Keep motivation high